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Living with someone with Depression

We all feel sad or melancholic from time to time.

These feelings do not usually last more than one or two weeks and do not interfere too much in our lives. However, it is said that someone is depressed or suffering from depression when their feelings of depression do not go away quickly, but persist for months and, these are so intense that they interfere with the normal performance of their daily activities.

Generally, people think that a depressed person is someone who is always sad and does not find the good things in life in front of them. Sometimes you have to understand that a person who suffers from depression cannot control it, sometimes no matter how much they want to, some of these people learn to live with it and pretend in front of others that their life is normal and happy, while for inside they break into thousands of pieces waiting for loneliness to unload their pain and sadness; Others simply accumulate the episodes of depression one by one, hoping that it will never explode causing a strong unstoppable emotion.

woman window depression rehabilitation treatment san diego couch anxiety anxious sad

woman window depression rehabilitation treatment san diego couch anxiety anxious sad

Sometimes just saying “get over it!” Is not enough. 

You do not know what that person lived that costs him no matter how much he tries to forget what happened

Sometimes just saying “Go to a doctor” is not enough.

You do not know if he does not have the resources for one or if there are simply no public doctors who can attend to his case

Sometimes it is not enough to say “This is silly why you cry”

You do not know if that person is really hurting from a disease or disorder.

It is really difficult to deal with these types of people, days come when they wish their own death with fervent desire and you must avoid as much as possible that they hurt themselves; There are days when they hate the whole world and despite having a child close to them, they feel that they are not enough for that child and prefer to leave him with his family and disappear so as not to end up ruining the baby’s life; Sometimes they think that they are a burden for everyone and they want to separate even from their partner and they repeat the word “divorce” thousands of times while they burst into tears saying that they do not want to be a burden; There are days when they cannot stop crying because they know that their behavior causes stress and fatigue to the person who supports it and they regret for hours that no matter how much they try to control it, it is difficult for them to control it.

What hurts the most is the other person: the one who endures those mood swings day and night, where a depressed person can go from sad to aggressive, the times they can hurt you, the times they must try to stop you from doing crazy things, times that you must convince him that he is not a burden but that he is simply sick, the times that you teach him his own son while he suffers a state of depression so that he can control himself, since he prefers to die before his own blood sees him in that state , the countless times he must convince the affected person to go out and see the good things in the world. That hurts the person who suffers from depression, they end up thinking that they are a burden, that they ruin the life of both their partner and their children, that when they are in those moments they prefer to be completely alone to try to master the intense desire to cry, but when whoever encourages him is by his side he cannot help not breaking.

woman looking depressed hand on head social distancing illness mental illnesss disease psychology

woman looking depressed hand on head social distancing illness mental illnesss disease psychology

It might appear to be a hopeless circumstance. In any case, there are a few things that should be possible: 

  • Research depression: There are several resources, both online and through doctors and hospitals, that can provide you with more information about  what depression is, what causes it and how to help someone who has it. By understanding what depression is and how it makes you feel, you will be better able to empathize with someone who has it.
  • Listen: talking about their feelings and experiences gives them a way to cope with depression. Simply being present listening to them may help them more than you realize.
  • Be Supportive. Supporting someone with depression involves being available to talk to, spend time with and listen to your loved one. Being supportive also includes, in moderation, gently pushing your loved one to do what is good for him or her. 
  • Take care of yourself: this is crucial. Prioritize yourself. Taking care of yourself is to realize that you are also important. This means not always ignoring your needs and the things that make you feel good. It can be described as helping others to help themselves first. This means giving priority to your own happiness and satisfaction without infringing on the interests of others.
  • Recognize improvements, no matter how small.
  • Don’t make excuses for them. They need empathy and support, but also need encouragement to push themselves and try to improve.
  • Encourage them to seek help: Without professional intervention, they will be less likely to recover from their depression.
  • Recognize when depression starts to worsen. If you think there may be a risk of suicide, ask them straight up if they are considering suicide. If you think someone is suicidal, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 as soon as possible.
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stress rehab for depression black man african american mobile watch treatment

Consider support groups. You can find depression family support groups online and in person. Group members often learn from one another about healthy ways of coping with stress, improving sleep, improving communication with family, better advocating for themselves with their healthcare team, generally improving their quality of life. The same is true for those supporting a family member with a diagnosis. Support groups help with resilience and hope. Don’t forget you can’t share what you don’t have, so being able to experience peace and joy will be the foundation to have communication without going ‘down with the other’.being affected by someone else’s state of mind.

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